Baby it's cold outside

Wow, look! Its snowing! Lets go light up the Christmas tree because the temperature is below freezing! Oh its so Christmas like. Especially this time of year.

Thats all fine and dandy when your not a tuba player. I'm standing on the steps to the state capitol building with a frozen mass of silver plated brass. As you could imagine this is quite unpleasant to hold on to. Luckily for me a nice soldier let me use his gloves. That sure helped a lot. It seemed to help until I had to put my lips on that frozen musical instrument. Every time I have to put my lips on a below freezing mouthpiece I think of that movie, A Christmas Story, where Ralphie puts his tongue on the frozen flagpole. Of course the fire department comes to rescue him.

What would happen if my lips or my tongue stuck to that frozen mouthpiece? Who would rescue the pathetic tuba player who is literally stuck on his instrument? I'm sure the fire department would not come running. They have better things to do, like putting out fires. Perhaps I would just be stuck to the tuba until I could blow enough air through it to warm the mouthpiece enough to free myself.

But alas, that has not happened thus far. Maybe Ralphie being stuck to a flagpole was merely a Hollywood stunt that never happens. Maybe I could talk a young elementary school child into trying it out.