The Almighty Fig

The fig has a majestic past. It was the leaves of a fig tree that Adam and Eve used to cover their nakedness in the Garden of Eden. It is a fig leaf that will often cover up the naughty bits of a sculpture or painting. Because of this the fig leaf is a symbol of modesty. Yes, the fig leaf has a majestic history of modesty.

The fig fruit has a long history as well. In the popular Christmas tune, We Wish You A Merry Christmas, the carolers demand figgy pudding.

So bring us some figgy pudding
yes bring us some figgy pudding
bring us some figgy pudding
and bring it right now!

Figgy pudding was obviously so good that Christmas carolers demanded it RIGHT NOW! What is a person to do. "Why yes, I have some on to boil as we speak. Let me fetch some for you!" In historical times figs were often used as sweeteners, which is why Christmas carolers would demand it right now. It is also high in potassium, iron, fiber and plant calcium. Figs were also used for medicinal purposes as a diuretic and laxative. So don't eat too much of that figgy pudding or you will be making your own type of pudding during that cold hayride back to your home after your done caroling.

So what caused the decline of the fig fruit to become the most despised and shunned fruit ever? What has caused modern Americans to associate the word fig with newton? Doesn't the fig deserve more respect than to be completely wrapped in a pastry and placed in a plastic sealed container to age on your grocer's shelves?

If we search Allrecipies.com we can find some very tasty ideas to use figs for. Cakes, pastries, pizzas, and sauces. Fig preserves are always a good idea as well.

So stop disrespecting the fig! Give it a good reasonable try.

Eye Scratcher

This morning I had the most unfortunate accident. Little Clifford was playing with a toy Share had made. It just so happened to have a laminated piece of paper attached to it. I was lying on my back with my eyes closed. Just as I opened my eyes the edge of the laminated paper ran across my eyeball. Instant pain shot through my eye as I heard Clifford laughing. Ugh! It hurt like crazy. My eye still hurts and is still very light sensitive. Hopefully my eye is feeling better tomorrow.

Watch Your Back Blaine

I don't like Blaine county Idaho. I really don't have much of a reason. I just hate the way it is shaped, with its stupid little tail. Piggy Blaine county. It had to squeeze its way between Power and Minidoka counties just so it could touch Cassia. Perhaps you thought you needed roots to the Snake River. Maybe you wanted a piece of the I-84 action so you could give out tickets to those who speed through your tail. With your dumb tail you border more counties in Idaho than any other county. Maybe we should cut off your tail and give it to the tiny Minidoka. Maybe Minidoka and Power counties could split the difference of your ridiculous appendage.

On the other hand Bonneville county at least looks cool. It looks like a handgun. There is a reason that it borders five other counties: it needs to be contained. NBC is currently being sued for using Bonneville county's trademark: Law & Order. Its a good thing for you Blaine county that Butte and Bingham counties seperate you and Bonneville. Otherwise Bonneville would have busted a move and popped a cap in you long ago. We are watching you Blaine county. We are always watching.

Javascript Picture Gallery

After doing my web album over at my webpage, I have discovered that it takes too much time. In the future I plan on having a web hosting solution for my webpage as opposed to the small amount of space my ISP gives me. Spending that much time putting all my pictures on the net would be a huge undertaking! Worth the time but I don't want to do it.

After a short search I have found PopBox. This is a javascript that will allow me to simply point to the pictures and it will zoom the picture to the size of your screen. This is much faster for me. It does not zoom to the original size but the size of the screen. simply right click on the picture and select "view image" and you can see the full size. I've just started using PopBox but so far it has a lot of nifty features. Go check out the new javascript picture album and let me know what you think!

Thanks.

WebPage Theme

After a few days of using the new CSS theme on TubaSoldier.com I have decided it was pretty tacky. A blue background with a red sidebar and red navigation tabs. Ugh. But at the time It was the nicest and most easily customizable CSS theme I had found. I decided to go out and look for a new theme I could customize. I think it looks much better. I would like to recieve feedback, both positive and negative.

Thanks for looking!

My Webpage Has A New Look

I have recently updated my webpage http://www.tubasoldier.com

It now uses CSS instead of plain old HTML. It looks much nicer and is way easier to navigate. Unfortunately Internet Explorer still struggles to render pieces of it properly. Stupid Internet Explorer needs to be shot for not being standards compliant. I'm not going to spend hours trying to make it look right in IE because It looks correct in Firefox, Opera, Konqueror, Safari... you get the idea.

Clifford Jr's picture album still has a distinct look of its own. The new thing is that it is now integrated into the web page's overall look.

I have also been working on typesetting all the PDF music using LilyPond. It takes time but now the music is easier to read and looks nicer when it is printed.

I have also added a contact button with contact information. Basically just my e-mail address but it looks a lot nicer than having it at the bottom of the main page.

So go check it out!

Updated Web Album

I have finally updated the web album I have of Clifford Jr. on my cableone page. I also have written in my blog for the first time since June. Anyways, head off to http://www.tubasoldier.com and check out the newer pictures of Clifford!

Nasal News

Yes, I have more nasal news. This one is quite funny.

You know those boogers that get stuck to your nose hairs? The kind that embed themselves in between all those hair follicles? You can blow and blow and blow but you will never dislodge that nasty nuisance from your nostril. There is only one way to remove it: you have to go mining. You finally get that booger wedged under your fingernail and it rips out all the hairs that it has grown in between. Yeah, thats fun isnt it?

I just so happened to have one of those same boogers the other day. I was driving in the NAPA car on my way back from a delivery. While accelerating onto I-184 I decided that it was time for it to come out. So I did it. I put my finger in my nose and wedged that little booger under my fingernail and ripped it out. I flipped it out the window and a teenager in a large blue truck caught my eye as that booger flew from my finger.

This boy looked at me with his eyes wide open. The he pointed at me with his boogerless finger and said, "I saw that!" I was quite embarrassed as I saw his lips move but the noise was stopped by the window that separated us. What was I to do? This teenager had caught me in a pick. And to my surprise he then lifted another finger. He pulled out his thumb and with a smile on his face hoisted that thumb up into the air. At this point I realized that there was no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed. I looked back at him with a smile and my thumb saluted back. Just at this moment a car passed by in the lane between us. My exit was coming up and I knew I was leaving my new thumbs up friend. So I put my finger back into my nose and turned to look at him. The car passed us both and as I exited the freeway I gave him a blank stare with my finger up my nose. He was quite amused and I saw him slap his knee and laugh hysterically as the truck he was riding in continued on its way.

I laughed all the way back to the NAPA store. I'm sure people have seen me try to remove such nasty things from my nose before but none had ever taken the time to let me know that they had seen me do it. Being caught in a pick like that and having a laugh about it really made my day.

Allergy Answers

I have suffered from seasonal allergies for years. Some years are worse than others. Different places and different plants effect me. Cottonwood trees are the worst tree ever. Who in their right mind would want a tree that would drop white stuff all over the ground? Those bushes that have enormous amounts of flowers are crazy too! Who would want one of those? The amount of pollen that those flowery bushes give off is enough to send my sinuses into a sneezing frenzy. Yes, I have lived with allergies most of my life.

Now there is a solution. There is a cheap item called a neti pot. Its simple, fill it full of a saltwater solution and pour it up your nose. Give yourself a salty nasal douche. I know what your thinking. There is no way pouring salt water up my nose could work! Think again. Filling your sinus cavity with a saline solution is the best way to rid your sinuses of pollen and dust buildup that causes sneezing and the mucus buildup. Think of it as a bath for your sinuses. It flushes out all the garbage that has collected in your sinus cavity.

I have to admit the first time I used the neti pot it really hurt. I had been struggling with allergies for nearly a month and my sinuses were sore and very raw. So imagine the feeling as I poured salt water up on my sinuses that happened to be slightly bloody. Ouch. I didn't think about it at first but I had just poured salt into an open wound. I was quite miserable for the rest of the day. But as time passed and my sinuses were able to heal themselves this nasal douching has become quite nice. It is a bit awkward to do it still but my sinuses have never felt better.

So if you are struggling with allergies consider a neti pot. I was tired of spending tons of money to go to the doctor just so he can give you a prescription for a more expensive chemical that I planned on swallowing. The neti pot is not only cheaper, it is safer too. Do the nasal douche and you wont be sorry.

Chinese Fortunes

Share and I went out for dinner the other night at the Wok King. Everything was pretty normal as far as the food itself and the service. A waitress with limited English took our order and brought us our food. The part that was good was the fortune Share got.

It was so good I decided to scan it in. Because, geez! I couldn't help myself!

Words News Anchors Should Not Be Allowed To Use

I've been thinking a lot about news anchors. Not because I want to be one. Oh no way. But because sometimes I think news anchors are on the edge of obnoxious. I was in my car listening to the radio when the 5 p.m. news came on. This is when I noticed what it was about the news that presses the wrong buttons. In this world of non-stop news reporting that repeats every thirty minutes, I think we should be able to ban certain words from the news anchor's vocabulary.

The word that bothers me the most is again.

This word "again" gives the news anchor a license, nay, a journalistic responsibility to repeat the news story in it's entirety. This completely surpasses the thirty minute waiting cycle before I have to hear it again. I'm sure journalists think they are doing us a favor by repeating the whole story, but lets be real. I heard you the first time. I'm no longer shocked by the news so much that I have to hear it twice. Again, I am no longer shocked by the news so much I have to hear it twice. Once again, I am no longer shocked by the news that I have to hear it three times.

Flickr

I know, flickr sounds kind of dirty. However, it really is not. I recently discovered flickr. It is an online photo sharing website. So for any of you that may be interested I have uploaded all the pictures that we have taken of little baby Clifford to it. The pictures that I happen to be in are not very flattering at all. However, there are a lot of little Clifford. Just keep in mind that in order to get a good photo of an infant you have to take a lot of pictures. You can even leave comments on different pictures if you want to. Sweet huh? So go visit my flickr account and check out what we have gotten. Some of them are pretty good.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tubasoldier/

Puke Bucket Kid

The joys of parenthood have gotten much more exiting. Baby Clifford slept through the whole night. Good for us! But after he woke up and ate, he started spitting up. It seemed to be a continual spit up. Milk flowed constantly. Then out of the middle of nowhere he just vomited. Were not talking normal baby spit up here. This was a tidal wave of milk regurgitating from the innards of our little baby. Now our sheets are in the washer and he ended up getting a bath. And in true baby boy fashion, Clifford decided he needed to urinate on me while I bathed him. This is nothing new to people who have already had kids, but to new parents this is quite exiting. Not exiting like I won the lottery, but exiting like I just puked after riding a roller coaster.

Google Wants Me To Swim

I recently went to Google and looked for the driving directions to London from Boise.
Step #27 tells me to swim to across the Atlantic Ocean.


I thought this was pretty funny.

Clifford Ryan Fell jr. - Photo Album

I have created an online photo album of the birth. We tried our best not to take pictures of "yucky" stuff. So it should all be rated G. Maybe PG, but thats it.

GO VIEW THE ALBUM!

You can also get to it by going to http://www.tubasoldier.com

Clifford Ryan Fell jr.

After a long labor and over 3 hours of pushing Clifford Ryan Fell jr. was born. He weighed 9 pounds 2 ounces. He is a quiet and content little baby. Good for us. Hopefully he will stay this way.

After he was born the doctor left and then came back into the room. I said "When Clifford Fell was born he kicked the doctor. Because only Clifford Fell delivers Clifford Fell." The comment got a good chuckle from him.

I sent an e-mail out to many people. Here is what it said

On March 29th, 2007 at 1:16pm the world changed forever...
[cue inspirational music]
For the first time since the 19th century there are now two Clifford Fells existing on the planet Earth at the same time. This fact has come to light after hours of time spent on Google. This change for the planet Earth could cause widespread excitement and gladness. This is also quite a conundrum. After all the Clifford Fell Fan Club will have to decide who's fans they really are. The original Clifford Fell claims that he is a Proud Member of the Clifford Fell Fan Club. However, Clifford Fell Jr. claims that he is the Proudest Member of the Clifford Fell Fan Club, thus topping the original Clifford beyond all controversy. Because nothing can be more than the est-est Therefore proudest will always top Proud and Prouder (grammatically it should be more proud). So, what should the Clifford Fell Fan Club do? That decision can only be made by it's members!

OK, so seriously. Share was an amazing trooper. She did the marathon labor and won. Share was in labor for approximately 17 hours. Three of those hours were her pushing. Share was able to deliver on her own with no scalpels or operations, a 9 pound 2 ounce baby. I have more respect and love for her now than I ever have. Watching the sacrifice that she made to bring life into the world was the most humbling experience. So please send your congratulations to her. She was amazing and never gave up. Her e-mail address is sharefell@gmail.com

Thanks for all the support

Clifford

I hope you like looking at baby pictures because here they are!